katriona_s (katriona_s) wrote,
katriona_s
katriona_s

Birthday

Today is my birthday. Though there is no party, no birthday cake, no gifts etc. My mother is out all day and I'm alone with my rabbit at home. Mother is out for the meeting of her Haiku poem group and would not come home after supper.
I have had a nice plan for my birthday. I was going to visit the local zoo with my best friend in the morning, then back to home in the afternoon, friend's husband would join us to have our favorite "Scrabble and cake party". But very unfortunately my best friend hurt her right ankle(It might be dislocation. Sounds terrifyingly painful!) on Friday morning so it's out of question to go out.

It's OK, I am no more a child and need no party nor gifts X) ...and in fact I have got 2 or 3 messages and a package of gift from my friends via internet and post. Still, as I have often been before, I feel a bit blue on this day, feel like missing something. Maybe miss someone with whom I can celebrate my birthday together, a partner I should have found in my life, maybe miss some achievement I should have done in my life and I can be proud of. On my birthday, every year, I keenly feel that I am just a common, unimportant person, have dome nothing important in my life. I don't want to be a giant, not at all, I'd like to be a person with some unique personality which I can proud of and could be the meaning of my life. Well, like this, the birthday is the blue day for me most of time.

I don't mean I've been unhappy today. I've rather enjoyed the quiet time alone at home. It is fine and warm all day, during the daytime I took my rabbit Tako outside of the window to brush her. My futon mattresses are aired on the wooden verandah and now they are soft and warm. In the afternoon the homeless cats visiting our garden, they seemed to be relaxed in the sun. When I have much sunshine floods the rooms of my house I feel quiet and sheer happiness though I have much disappointment at myself X)
Tags: daily life, thought, utako
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