katriona_s (katriona_s) wrote,

Thoughts about happiness

On a mildly sunny afternoon. One of our familiar homeless cats is sleeping in a cardboard box I've put on the wooden terrace. A peaceful time when I become full of the thankful feeling.

I know well that I am a fortunate person. I'm in good health, my mother and sister's family are too, living in a peaceful country. I have a nice house and a big garden(though it's not taken care of well XD), a rabbit in my room (and the loving rabbits in my memories), a decent job with average pay, not many but very good friends. I often feel thankful for this fortune.
Still - if I confess, - I'm not a very happy person. Being fortunate is not same to be happy. I think, the fortune is what we are given, and the happiness is what we should find or get by ourselves. I have had a bit somber personality since my chilfhood, I feel. Though I believe we should be happy if we can, so I thought about the happiness - how to feel happy.
First, I think, we need to have something we can believe we should do, the duty. It can be anything, the job, taking care of the family or animals, some social role, study something or some hobby - anything, but it must be the thing we can believe worth to be done.
Secondly, and this could be the same thing as the first, doing something not for ourselves but for someone else. We don't live by ourselves, and doing something which helps or pleases other is important. The deed for others makes us feel good, and often makes us feel like we are helpful & needed by others, and maybe feel like we own the place for ourselves in this wide world.
If you are married and have family, or if you do the meaningful job then you'd fulfill this first and second elements, and even though you are too busy to think about it still you might feel happiness from time to time.
Thirdly, I think, learning something is very important. To learn something, and improve ourselves in it - anything is OK might be another way to feel our life has some meaning.

And I have to admit that at this moment I don't fulfill these three things. The busyness and the stress in my job last year have disturbed the pace of my life, and I don't feel much sympathy nor zeal in my job any more. And that mental tiredness and disappointment have made me rather cynical, I very often feel I can't trust anyone. As for the study or learning I've been really lazy about the things I had learned before. No wonder I can't feel happy at all...

But I'm not in despair, I just know I should do these 3 things. At least I can try to learn something...
Tags: thought

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