katriona_s (katriona_s) wrote,

get lost

Sometimes a human being could feel get lost even in his own territory, surrounded by his family and friends, in his familiar usual life. I'm not sure this happens to everyone or only to some people but I regret to say that I fall into such condition sometimes. Recently, maybe because of some household problems, the loss of my beloved pet and the personal change at our office... or maybe just because of my age? I sometimes feel sharply that I don't know how to do about many things which I should know how to handle.

For example last few days in my office I cannot concentrate on my job at all, frankly I cannot grasp the proper course of it - I moved to another section on 1st July, had to hand all of the jobs I had proceeded with last 6 months over the younger co-worker whom I like enough but cannot trust her skill, and was given the new job about which I cannot be sure its hopefulness at all, and after 1 month... still now don't know how to manage this - and this uselessness of myself depress me badly. I cannot say I'm a very smart worker but as for my specialty - editing, writing, making media of communication - pamphlets, posters, educational videos etc - I know I'm more than able, there is not a single replacement for me in our company. But at present I'm far from my own element, feel a kind of anger for the present situation and a feeling of hopelessness and... feel lost, I'd like to escape from here :P

But, well, of course we cannot run away from our real life. Usually I distract my mind from these depressed feeling by entertaining myself with my favorite books, or going to see the movie, taking a day off & visiting museums etc... but this summer I have few plan of outing, and it's difficult to think of entertainment when I don't feel good.

Am I tired? depressed? No... I think I'm OK, but... just... melancholy. Sigh...
Tags: thought

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