katriona_s (katriona_s) wrote,
katriona_s
katriona_s

self-examination

I have many things I want to do (of course), some of them are rather easy - like eating chocolates, reading books, watching movie film or DVD, eating out with friends, etc - but some are more difficult to carry out - like drawing pictures, writting ordinary letters, learn how to cook or how to wear the Kimono or how to use the old sawing machine, etc. They require my own hand and more time but I think those things which need more time and labour would give us the deeper pleasure and enrich our life. This morning I noticed that recently I too often prefer the "easier" things on my free time in the evening or on the weekend.

I have to say I've been rather a lazy person since my childhood but as for the things I like, I could concentrate on them for hours - drawing just one picture for a whole day, writting one letter all morning, making detailed travel plan for days, weeding the garden whole afternoon, etc. But as I got older I become lazier and also, it has become more difficult to convince myself that I don't waste precious time with those things for I've become to feel "I don't have enough time" very often - almost always, this feeling of course makes it difficult to concentrate on just one thing for hours.  And instead I tend to choose the easy & quick pastime like browsing internet. This is like ... visiting Wikipedia or YouTube instead of going to the library or the theatre. (Wikipedia or YouTube is great of course, easier and quicker and cheaper. But these things are somewhat "not real" compared to the real experiences which require our hand and time.)

When I was working on my "house building project" for about 2 years I have had so many things to think and study and decide, didn't have much time to think about what I should do on my free time. But after I've moved into the new house, now I have some free time - very precious time I should use wisely, it seems that I've forgot how to fulfill my life, the interesting things I'd loved to use my hands and time very much for many years now look troublesome, I feel like I'm too tired or too busy to do them. But at the same time I know well that without those things my life is just vacant, I need to learn again how to use y own hands.

First of all, maybe I should stop browsing internet for hours...
Tags: thought
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