katriona_s (katriona_s) wrote,

Do you really mean it?

I have gone to the Yoga class for years. The class is just once a week (and sometimes less) and I can't say I'm a eager exerciser, even now I sometimes have muscular pain after the class though it's a mere elementary course. But I feel it's good for my health, my body stiffer when I can't go to the class for 2 weeks.
At the end of this summer my friend O complained about her back pain. She is overweight and doesn't like exercise as I don't so no wonder she was not in good physical condition, it's obvious that some exercise was good for her health. So I talked her about my Yoga class and said she could join me if she wanted. She said yes so I told her where and when they'd have the next class. But she had some appointment with friend on that day, next week she had to do some overtime work, then the sports centre was closed for the maintenance etc...  Last week, finally, she said she could go to the next class with me, it's good!
But 2 days before the class she e-mailed me to say she seemed to catch a cold and had a fever so she would not be able to join me. On the next day, then the day of the Yoga class she again sent me some messages, her apology and excuse, how she felt bad and had high fever.

I don't blame her of course, she can't help it when she's so ill. But after all she hasn't come, and I believe she didn't want to do Yoga in earnest. I don't think she lied when she said she wanted to join me, in her head she might understand it's good for her health but if she has seriously wanted to come she would never caught a cold, I believe. Her body found a means of escape and her mind leaped at that excuse.

I understand it often happens that we say "I want to do something" when we have just a little interest in it. And her empty promise and excuses made me think of MYSELF, about what I've "wanted" to do but never done for years. There are many reasonable reasons but I know they are just evasion, the important thing is that I have not done it. ...Does it mean that I don't want to do it seriously?
It might be, but I don't want to admit it!
And to prove my desire to be earnest, I should just DO IT. I know it very well. Yes I must start. Now I'm not young and don't have time to hesitate for ever...  X(
Tags: daily life, thought

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