May 14th, 2013


depressive day

It is May. This is a beautiful month, the colour of greens and flowers are bright, the air is fresh, and we all have the expectation of coming summer. As for my recent life... now I'm busy with thinking about our new house, checking the floor plans the architect has recently presented to us and many other job about this house-rebuilding project. Mr.Uma is cute & funny as usual, not bad at his condition. So... there is no reason nor time for me to feel depressed.

But in reality I feel miserably blue last night and today, in the office I wanted do nothing though I had some job I had to finish soon. I thought of taking half-day off and maybe going to see the film, or going to some park... but I didn't even want to do that.

I knew I should talk to someone for I'd felt being totally at deadlock in my job recently. But my current boss who should be the first adviser is a fool, he had no brain for our job nor managing the team (he is the leader of 7 members but none of us talk about our job problem to him for we all know it would be just a waste of time, his superior and other team-leaders seem to know his stupidity so it's just some "poitical" reason why he is a leader of the team... anyway, other members can talk about their job each other but I do my job by myself, not with my co-workers so when I have a problem in my job it's quite tough...). The co-workers I can trust are always busy and I dare not to bother them.
I have one or two friends who would give me the good advice but unfortunately one of them is now very busy and other has her own serious problem in her office, I know they don't have extra energy nor time for me at present.

Sorry, this is just an idle complaint, I write this just for keeping my sanity, make myself calm. Maybe one of the reason of this depression is that I haven't had the real holiday since last winter, I still feel a bit tired. And I can't take holidays now for there are so many things I had to think and decide about our new house - they are essentially enjoyable tasks but sometimes they seem to be quite difficult and troublesome, sometimes I feel not sure how to manage them by myself... (sigh)