katriona_s (katriona_s) wrote,
katriona_s
katriona_s

mmm...

Now in the morning and evening the autumn air is fresh and really comfortable, the sunshine has become milder. This is maybe the best season here for reading, outing, thinking etc. I have some entertaining plans for this autumn - like 2 day trip with my friend next month or short cruise in my friend's yacht(Yay!! XD) in Nov.

But I have to say I can't enjoy thinking of those plans at present for my current life is like a mess, full of the things I have to do, I should do and I want to do but cannot manage to do yet.
Literally there is a pile of job on my desk at the moment - the papers I have to fill in related to my father's death, the documents I have to read, kind of payment bills I have to check the details, the letters I have to reply soon etc... and I don't know why but recently I cannot manage to settle them at all, feel too tired to handle them and the pile is becoming high & high... X(
And since I naturally manage the things "I have to do" first, I cannot start the things "I want to do" and this is really big frustration for me.

I've been always clumsy about managing time since the childhood, always felt that I don't have enough time to do all the things I should & want to do.
Now autumn comes, beautiful & productive season, and it seems that I should start many things I have planed to do for years or months ... and in reality I'm almost in panic for I can't manage them.... as I was in the past autumns.

I want to be relax, feel easy, and start the things with calm mind...
Tags: daily life, thought
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