But I have to say I can't enjoy thinking of those plans at present for my current life is like a mess, full of the things I have to do, I should do and I want to do but cannot manage to do yet.
Literally there is a pile of job on my desk at the moment - the papers I have to fill in related to my father's death, the documents I have to read, kind of payment bills I have to check the details, the letters I have to reply soon etc... and I don't know why but recently I cannot manage to settle them at all, feel too tired to handle them and the pile is becoming high & high... X(
And since I naturally manage the things "I have to do" first, I cannot start the things "I want to do" and this is really big frustration for me.
I've been always clumsy about managing time since the childhood, always felt that I don't have enough time to do all the things I should & want to do.
Now autumn comes, beautiful & productive season, and it seems that I should start many things I have planed to do for years or months ... and in reality I'm almost in panic for I can't manage them.... as I was in the past autumns.
I want to be relax, feel easy, and start the things with calm mind...